Jefferson County Online A part of the IAGenWeb and USGenWeb Projects Who's Who in 1921 & 1922 Francis Darwin Kerrick

"The Fairfield Tribune"
Thursday, November 17, 1921
Page SIX

NO. 36 (sic - should be 38)

Francis Darwin Kerrick

No, merely because we have called in the undertaker it doesn't signify that this column is dead. Not at all. But you see a Tribune reader, deeply interested in the Who's Who department, suggested that so long as we had used a doctor for a subject, and then a nurse, it would be very fitting to follow with an undertaker. So we have acted on the suggestion, and may carry it out even further by selecting a preacher for next week and a monument man for the week following.

But, beg pardon, we have quite failed to introduce to you this sprightly chap who is by way of being very likely the last person you will have anything to do with on this earth. We present Francis Darwin Kerrick, whose full name is said to be Francis Darwin Crookshank Sloan Kerrick, but finds himself entirely too busy to write all of it.

Lot of people had queer ideas about Frank's name, or initials rather. He used to advertise as F. D. Kerrick. When he was in the furniture business lot of folks thought the F. D. stood for "Furniture Dealer." Then, went he went into the undertaking business they thought the letters stood for "Funeral Director." Frank was smart enough to capitalize the idea.

Frank Darwin wasn't always an undertaker. He was a farmer in Illinois till he went to an Indiana business school. Then he came out here and went to Parsons a couple of years and farmed as a side line for a year. After that he went into the furniture business for a living and sang for recreation.

For Francis Darwin is some singer, be it known. Thirty years ago he joined the Methodist choir; he's the only one of the old choir left now. Folks have stood for his singing a long time. It is said that he actually declined an invitation to become a member of the Old Settler's quartet, but the Tribune editor fails to find any authentic record if his having (sic) ever received the invitation.

Francis Darwin is here depicted in accordance with the usual idea we have of an undertaker, and in the pose some people sarcastically charge him with taking. Lot of people think undertakers just stand around with a tapeline and measuring stick in their hands waiting to measure them up. That isn't true of Frank Darwin. If he has a tapeline and measuring stick they are the kind he can fold up and put in his pocket out of sight. Frank Darwin doesn't wear the handsome mustache now which is shown in the picture. Used to until someone told him he looked like William Jennings Bryan except for the mustache. Frank shaved it off right away and now he thinks Bryan the greatest man in the country.

Undertakers have a pretty hard time if it (sic) anyway--they can't be human about some things like other folks. Frank learned that early in his undertaking career. Good many years ago there was a man hanging onto life by a thread. Frank knew him pretty well and was interested in seeing him get well. One day he met the man's wife on the street. "Good morning, how's Joe getting along?" Frank inquired in his best friend-of-the-family tone and an utter lack of the professional interest.

The woman glared at him for a moment, then said:

"Oh, you needn't be so blamed interested, you're not going to get the job of laying him out anyway--we're going to have the Batavia undertaker."

Since then Frank doesn't inquire concerning the health of anyone except a few of his near relatives.

People like to make a good many sarcastic remarks to and about an undertaker anyway. Last year, when an airplane over the city was something rather new, Frank would stand out in front of his office and interestedly watch their flight when he wasn't busy. But folks passing by kept making cute remarks about "waiting for 'e mto fall (sic)" so now he won't even look up when a plane passes over.

But you may kid Francis Darwin as much as you please and he'll take is (sic) good-naturedly because he has a happy sort of a disposition which doesn't let trifles bother him. He's really not the funereal sort of a chap we expect to find in an undertaker at all. And you'll find him the same one day as another, too.

Frank holds a pretty enviable record as an undertaker. In the thirty years or so that he has been in the business here he has put away some two thousand corpses and there hasn't one of them ever kicked on the kind of a job he did. Anyone who can get everything just exactly to suit a man or woman on such a long journey is doing pretty well.

Although his life's work with with the dead you must not for a minute think that Francis Darwin Kerrick is himself a dead one. Far from it. He's very much alive and on the job when there's anything doing of community interest and benefit, always contributes his share and is in for progress. And his manner of rendering professional services makes death and the parting from a loved one seem less hard to bear for many a grief-stricken family. And the man that can help a little at such a time as that is performing his duty by his fellowman. And just to square things up a bit for Frank we suggest that, in case he should ask as to the health of some ... (note: Bottom of paper cut off in the scan, and a couple lines were lost.)