Gray, Alice May (Smith) 1858-1897

SMITH, GRAY, DOWING

Posted By: Dean Broz (email)
Date: 11/6/2002 at 14:32:07

The Hampton Globe, Nov. 5, 1897

A Good Woman Gone

Another Hampton home is sadly distressed. Mrs. Henry Gray is dead. The spirit of the kind wife and loving mother has gone back to the God who gave it and her husband and family of four children, two boys and two little girls, are bowed down with great grief. So also is her large circle of friends, for Mrs. Gray was a most lovable, highly esteemed, queenly woman. Born in Barre, New York, March 3, 1858, married to Mr. Gray twenty-two years later, and being surrounded by an interesting little family in a pleasant home, it is indeed inexpressibly sad that one who had so much to live for should thus be cut down in early age. But in their sadness and sorrow and the seeming cruelty of death, the husband and motherless children can take lasting comfort in the thought that in her loving and exemplary christian life she has left them a rich heritage, a heritage that will have an abiding place in their memory while life lasts.

The funeral obsequies over the remains of Mrs. Gray occurred Monday afternoon. At 2:30 o'clock the body was removed from the family residence to the Congregational church, escorted by the P.E.O. society. Arriving at the church the mourning relatives and friends were given seats and the ladies of the above society marched in a body and were provided with seats that had been reserved for them. The services were deeply impressive, and will not be forgotten by those who witnessed it. The choir sang "Asleep in Jesus." Rev. J. W. Ferner invoked the divine blessing upon the sorrowing family, and upon all present. Another song by the choir, and H.S. Benz, of the Evangelical church, read a number of extracts found marked in Mrs. Gray's bible. Rev. Ferner then preached the funeral discourse using for his text John 13:7, "Jesus answered and said unto him what I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." The discourse was wholly impromtu and was substantially as follows:

It is not too much to say that up to the day of Jesusu' resurrection his disciples were disappointed in him. On this last evening in the upper room their plans were awry. They had before their minds so conspicuously the problem of removing the Roman yoke that a Messiah who treated the whole matter with so much indifference, as did Jesus, must be disappointing. They had not only dreamed of a temporal kingdom, but talked it all over and contended for the high places. At this last supper when Jesus arose and laid aside his garments and took a towel and girded himself and poured out water and proceeded to wash his disciples feet and wiped them with the towel wherewith he was girded. These whole proceedings directly crossed their conception of him as their king. They were amazed. When he came to Peter, Peter drew away and said, "Lord, dost thou wash my feet?" Jesus answered, "What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." The frustrated plans of the disciples had crossed the plans of God. Man's doings and God's doings stood facing each other; man's ignorance and God's wisdom; man's darkness and God's light; man's appointments and God's appointments. These disciples were slowly being brought to hearty harmonious co-operation with God's plans, to merge their plans and purposes with his. They were led to see by their own disappointments the greater, wiser hand than theirs. In this life man's and God's plans are often in conjunction and when they are there is a shadow, man is looking at it all from the manward side and he does not know what God is doing, but the promise is that he shall know later. When a man gets fully on God's side then he can see from God's standpoint, from the light of God's appointments in human disappointments. "What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter."

Man's plans often miscarry. It is an old saying "that this is a world of disappointments." Are there any here whose plans have all been realized? With what warmth in our early years we map out our life work and when years after we take account of stock what a wreck of plans we do often behold. What a wreck of plans and schemes we find all around us; plans to be rich; plans for a long life of good health; plans for a long and happy life with those we love; plans of parents for the future of their children, etc. The wrecks of these are strewn all around us. If we were to ever live in the midst of this wreck what a sorry life ours would be. It would be a life in which suicide would be rife. How hard to unravel the web of our lives. How hard many things are to understand! What a contrast between our life as it now is and what we had mapped out for ourselves. But God's plans are a rift in the cloud of our disappointments. Men have, 'tis true, worked to God's plans, but blindly. God finds it necessary to overrule man's plans a good many times in order to bring about the good of the race. God designs that man shall co-operate with God more intelligently in the fulfillment of His great and wise purposes so that we no longer follow blindly, but shall come to see life more and more from God's standpoint. We may therefore go on assured that though we cannot now see or understand we shall understand later. The beauty of it all will be that in the end we shall see most of our disappointments as his appointments. Christ came into the world to reveal God's love and his plans concerning us. His incarnation brings us in closer touch with Him and brings us to think His thoughts after Him. The great object of Christ is to teach us the will of God and with Christ to call God Father.

There is another passage of scripture which came to my mind almost immediately after I heard of the death of Mrs. Gray. It was this: "Her sun is gone down while it is yet day." The sun stands for light, strength, beauty, life. How beautiful it is to observe a young woman blossom into womanhood. What life, what vivacity, what hope, how much of sweetness and beauty, what plans and developments for teh future home. What a life a woman's life is anyhow. Man, because he measures everything by a low masculine standard, sometimes calls her weak, but it is a grievous mistake. Those womanly qualities, gentleness, kindness, love, sympathy, taste, skill in art, intuition and decision are strong qualities. They are the qualities which man is lacking often. Where man underestimates woman man becomes degraded. This is the world's history. Some people, even women, look down upon housekeeping as if it were too menial or were unworthy. But what a great calling it is to keep a house. How much of love and taste and artistic skill enters into good housekeeping. The skill by which the house is always made a desirable place to go to. O what a power in good housekeeping to build character. When, therefore, we see a young woman not yet 40 years of age grow up into womanhood and become the queen in her home where she has filled such a useful place and then all at once is taken away we do not know what to make of it. "Her sun is gone down while it is yet day." Here are broken plans and disappointed hopes and in the confusion we have but one hope and one ray of light, that hope and that light is God's plan. We put our hands in his and move along. He says "What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter."
The floral pieces were many and very beautiful and were tastefully arranged by the ladies of the Aid society. The casket was removed from the church by the pall bearers and the funeral cortege proceeded to Hillside cemetery, headed by the P.E.O. society, and the last sad rites were performed, and the grief stricken family and hundreds of sorrowing friends turned their faces homeward.

Mr. and Mrs. A. J. Gray, parents of the bereaved husband, were unable to attend the funeral services owing to the illness of Mr. Gray -- a sore disappointment to them indeed. Jeremiah Smith, of Cedar Rapids, father of deceased, accompanied by his wife, her brother, Frank A. Smith and wife, of the same place, and Mr. and Mrs. E. Dowing