"Age ain't nothin'. I don't know the price of beef cattle."
"Is she worth fifteen dollars? Also state how much right smart is."
" She gives a pint in the mornin' and a half in the evenin'."
"Is she quiet? Does she ever kick the pail over?"
"I accept the amendment. She kicks and spills every day onehalf the milk."
" Jim Baxter, you are an expert—a smart Alex; is a pint and a half your estimate of right smart?"
" Yaas, that's the law in Indiana and in old Kaintuck, whar I was born."
The Court turns to the clerk and states: " Mr. Clerk, whereas Indiana and Kaintuck, being older states, heretofore let it be recorded as a ruling that henceforth a pint and a half of whisky, rum, and all life-invigorating beverages, including milk, shall be known and acknowledged as "right smart" in this, the First judicial district of the commonwealth of Illinois. Call the next witness."
The bar rises in a body and informs his Honor that the hour appointed for the horse race has arrived.
"Thanks, gentlemen of the bar, Mr. Sheriff adjourn court, sine die till half-past eight to-morrow morning."—(Detroit Free Press.)
W. H. Gallup has arrived and we are again favored with banking privileges. An enterprise of this kind is one of the necessities of the village.
Mr. Schoonover, principal of the Madrid school, delivered his lecture, " The Great Rebellion," to an interested audience Saturday evening.
J. H. B. Kerr died at his home Monday morning after a lingering illness from cancer of the face. The funeral was held Tuesday afternoon at 10 o'clock, from the M. E. church, Rev. Thompson officiating. Mr. Kerr was an old resident of the county, and a highly respected citizen.—(Cambridge, Nov. 25, 1885.)
Parley Sheldon took charge of the Ames postoffice on Monday last and is now handling the mail bags, letters and papers.—(November 25, 1885.)
J. B. Green has taken possession of the postoffice at Cambridge and the democrats tally one more in Story County.—(November 25, 1885.)
Burt Hix took possession of the Zearing postoffice a week or so ago, superceding J. C. Burkhart, offensive partisan. There are some democrats in Lincoln township, but the powers that be thought it necessary to import a postmaster.—(Nov. 25, 1885.)
A. M. NORRIS has purchased a number of lots in State Center, at a valuation of $10,000. Good for him, though we should much have preferred his purchasing in this town.—(Nov. 27, 1885.)