UP AT 'SKEETER' CAMP

OPPENHEIMER, PERRY, BOYNTON, TROST, COPELAND, BEAMAN, ISRAEL

Posted By: David (email)
Date: 3/9/2005 at 15:09:32

The Chariton Leader, Chariton, Iowa
Thursday, July 30, 1908

Up At "Skeeter" Camp

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It was a great day at Mosquito Camp, neath the wooded hills of the raging
Whitebreast, where the P.E.O. ladies picknicked on Tuesday, and where a few
gentlemen accompanied them as protectors against the ferocious beasts which
inhabit the forests there, and the big "skeeters," the leviathins of the air
there abouts. SIMON OPPENHEIMER took along his Zulu rifle and the tales he
will write about the adventures for the eastern magazines at 75 cents per
vowel sound will make the hair of the readers stand on end like quills in
the pompadour of the porcupine. Just as a big "skeeter" swooped down from
its high ayrie and was about to seize a P.E.O. sister in its talons, SIMON
quickly drew a bead with his gun and shot a sparrow in the lady's hat
ornament. This frightened the "skeeter" away and no doubt saved the lady's
life. It also furnished food for conversation until DR. M.M. PERRY, in
wondering about, discovered a foot ball hanging to the limb of a tree, left
there by the Indians, he thought, and proceeded to secure it but no sooner
had he reached the limb than he made the discovery that the thing was
inhabited, and immediately the inhabitants changed settlements.

In speaking of it afterwards he said he never heard of mosquitos "backing up
to a fellow that way before, and he swelled up with emotion. DR. FRED
BOYNTON happened to be present with his medicine case and relieved him of
the sensation left by the "bites" -- but the doctor declares those "skeeters
do not belong to the homeopath school. The balance of the day he was
treated as an honorary member of the society in distress. WILLIAM TROST was
among the galaxy of gallants but spent most of the time surveying a bee tree
growing on the side of the cliff. Some one noticed this action and
concluded that it was "strange" and so reported. The result was that
WILLIAM was put under guard for the rest of the day. Now, really his
actions were natural but it is not often he has the privilege of becoming
awed by the majesty of the forest.

J.C. COPELAND met with so many mishaps while at the camp that some of the
men folk are so mad that they will not speak to him. The day to them was
practically without adventure. J.D. BEAMAN, who was host errant, made a
speech, which elicited much applause. He said it was the proudest moment of
his life and that he expected to live to see the day when "Skeeter" Camp
would be connected with Chariton and the other metropolises of the world by
an interurban railway. Almost before he had concluded and the distant
echoes were reverberating from crag to crag, the big phonograph began that
soul inspiring song, "I Am So Tired," with ragtime accompaniment. This
proved a hit and was very enervating.

O.J. ISRAEL was unusually agreeable all day and minded perfectly well
everything said to him as a guest should. He even went so far as to say he
would like to live at the camp forever and ever -- which all agreed was a
long time. The ladies were pleased with this sentiment and permitted him to
help them wash the dishes, set the tables, kindle the fires, carry water,
until he added an amendment to his former declaration by saying --

"but my business will not permit of the pleasure."

And he was among the first of the gentlemen at the station who waited long
and patiently for the cars to come which bore him back to the city.

There were several other gentlemen present who carved their names on the
trees and who otherwise immortalized themselves to a greater or less degree
but we can not call their names to mind at present. Should you desire to
know about them look over the archives of this passage in human affairs and
their records may be read.

A prominent feature of the occasion was the spread of viands, to which all
did justice....
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Copied by Nancee(McMurtrey)Seifert
February 14, 2005
iggy29@rnetinc.net