Iowa
History Project
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From the
founding of their Society to the present time the Friends have been a people
much attached to their homes, not seeking their pleasures in the diversions of
the outside world. Home life to them has always stood next to religion.
Sedate and
reserved as the Quaker appeared to the world, when met and known in his home he
proved to be one of the most congenial of men. Within the domestic circle there
was not the slightest show of formality; and the guest who came, whether high
or low, was received on a par with the members of the family and given the
heartiest of welcomes. Along with the kindnesses or attentions shown there was
no attempt at strained entertainment; for the guest was fully expected to
indulge himself as he pleased, while the necessary work of the house or of the
farm went on as usual. Above all, the guest was told, after the Quaker manner,
“to be free”, and that to ask for what he wanted was but to show agreeable
contentment. Their hospitality was born of the long custom among themselves of
frequent and uninvited visiting, especially I this western country.
To the visitor
from the world conversation among the Friends seemed limited, for rarely did
they discuss topics of common political or social concern: their chief interest
was in church and neighborhood affairs. With them it was not uncommon, while
sitting together, for a long period of silence or religious reflection to
occur, which often-times ended with prayer or religious discussion without the
slightest reserve. On the other hand, the Quakers had a wit and humor all their
own, which not infrequently displayed itself. Seldom making use of sarcasm or
hurtful personal reference, the Quaker joke in anecdote form is thoroughly
enjoyable. Much of their humor concerned itself with amusing incidents known to
have occurred—such as the story of the eccentric old Quaker who refused to
allow his wife to grow red roses in her garden because they reminded him of the
devil, while at the same time she might raise as many white roses as she wanted
to; or that of the old Quaker preacher who contended that his was the best
example of a pure and unadulterated Gospel, because he could neither read nor
write.(439)
Noticeable,
too, in general was the simple plainness in the furnishings of the Quaker home.
The Quakers were trained to this principle, for back in New England the
ancestors of the Iowa Friends had been taught through disciplinary requirement
to “keep to plainness in household stuff and furniture…avoiding in particular
Striped and Flowered Bed or Window hangings of Divers Colours, and Quilts.
Counter paines and Table Carpetts [cloths], of like gaudy Colours & Double
Vallants [drapings] and fringes”, and especially that “all Friends that have
vessels of Silver do not set them up in any publick place nor no other flowered
painted vessels, seeming more to bee seen than otherwise.(440) Nothing was to
be kept for mere show, not even pictures or paintings; and even in Iowa to-day,
among the more conservative members of the Society, what few pictures there are
to be found are almost invariably of a simple religious character, set in
inexpensive frames.
Lacking in
expensive furniture though they were, one thing almost invariably attracted the
visitor’s eye in the Quaker’s home, namely, his collection of books. Among
those old-time leather-bound, or black cloth-covered, volumes one would seldom
find the recognized masterpieces of the world’s literature; but, on the other
hand, seldom was there lacking a copy of George Fox’s Journal, Barclay’s
Apology, or the writings of William Penn. A glance at the family
calendar would also be of interest, for, much to the surprise of one untutored
in the Quaker ways, he would find the common names of the days and months all
missing, and in their places the simple system of numeration, First Day, Second
Day, Third Day, and so on, or First Month, Second Month, and so on to the end.
On inquiry for the cause of this strange custom the unembarrassed reply would
be that the common names of the days and months were of pagan origin, except for
the months of September, October, November, and December, which were intended
in the Latin to stand for the seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth months of the
year, but in the change of the calendar these appellations were made incorrect,
and were in consequence rejected by the Quakers.(441)
Of no less interest were meal-times among the Friends; for
with the abundance of simple but wholesome foods and the good cheer that
prevailed, the visitor was always welcome, whoever he might be. Little given to
superfluity of any kind, the question of saying grace at the table was a
serious one, for, thought they, better nothing said than that which came not
from a reverent and honest heart. In consequence it was their custom when all
were seated to observe a time of meditative silence, and if any one were moved
to vocal utterance, he should prove obedient to his promptings. Not
infrequently it occurred that for days or even weeks at a time no grace was
said; but when it came, or come as frequently as it might, it was almost
invariably sincere in tone and free from stereotyped expressions.
Thus
have the Quakers lived in contentment, peace and plenty. Patiently have they
toiled and worshipped. Bravely, too, have they met their problems, conscious of
a mission and a given end and destiny. Through all the storms of their troubled
course, nothing has seemed permanently to disturb them: nothing has destroyed
their faith. Well have they served the world, queer though they may have seemed
to be.
Notes
439- Many interesting anecdotes of this character may be
found in Biographical Sketches and Anecdotes of Members of the Religious
Society of Friends (Philadelphia, 1870).
440- Taken from notes by Clarence M. Case on the Minutes
of New England Yearly Meeting, Vol. I, 1683-1789.
441- Clarkson’s A Portraiture of Quakerism, Vol. I,
pp. 291-293.
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