Smith, Jap

SMITH

Posted By: Mary H. Cochrane, Volunteer
Date: 7/8/2019 at 18:37:50

JAP SMITH

As all families are more or less allergic to the traditional skeleton within the family closet, so it is with communities, and Lamoni or any other city or town cannot boast of an unbroken line of exemplary citizens. And yet some of those who have left records that are not altogether above question have nevertheless proven to be interesting characters.

Such a one was Jap Smith, one of the ne'er-do-wells of Lamoni a few decades back. Where he came from or whither he went I know not. He did odd jobs about town and on surrounding farms over quite a length of time. He was undoubtedly one person of my acquaintance whose plan in life proceeded no further than the next step. One day he might be shoveling coal, the next day distributing sale bills for some farmer, the next day just loafing about town on the lookout for any type of adventure that might happen along. This tendency of following the course of least resistance often led him into paths that resulted in more or less serious consequences. He was no stranger to the bottle and on numerous occasions following sessions of dissipation he collided with the law, which brought fourth penalties ranging in seriousness from a few hours' detention in the town brig to those demanding periods at hard labor, even involving the crushing of rock with a heavy hammer while chained to the town pump in the public square.

All of these penalties, however, had little effect upon Jap, for sitting upon the well curb with hammer in hand or behind the gates of detention he laughed and joked with his friends as though he had not a worry in all the world. Under any and all conditions he was a hale fellow, well met, and he permitted no circumstances, no matter how excruciating, to prevent his being sociable and friendly.

He had traveled with a circus, where he performed roustabout work. He had herded sheep upon the plains of the West and the tales he told of these adventures were interesting and filled with a crude sort of humor that was characteristically fitted only to his type of personality. He had a line of logic that was more or less reasonable, though it was often necessary to follow his thread of thought through a mass of mire to capture the meager prize that dangled so precariously at the end. For instance, of his sheep-herding experience he said “One thing a sheep herder must learn, and that is to be sociable and to get along with himself. If he does not he will be in mighty bad company and if he can't be congenial and carry on a pleasant conversation with himself his existence will be plenty dreary all the weeks and months that he is miles away from any other living person.”

He told of many experiences relating to riding bucking broncos and claimed to be quite an expert at breaking wild and balky horses. Upon one occasion he was working for a farmer who entrusted him with the care of a team of balky mules. “There's only one way to cure a balky mule,” he said. “You have to whip him hard enough that it changes his mind completely and forces him to forget that he ever had the notion to balk.” According to this theory he administered this type of remedy the first time the mules attempted to balk, using a log chain as the instrument of chastisement, and it apparently proved quite effective. “One round with that log chain was enough,” he exclaimed exultantly. “I never had to use it again. I kept it handy though, and if they ever looked as though that old balky idea was coming back into their minds I just gave the chain a little shake or kicked it with my foot and that was all they wanted. The rattle of that chain sure put fire in their feet.”

He gave vent to a satisfied chuckle as he finished telling of this experience and it was very evident that he experienced a deep sense of satisfaction over the success of this experience. However, the sequel to this story was told in actions rather than words sometime later when Jap and a companion drove out into the farmer's feed lot to load a large feed bunk which they intended to move to a new location. The helper lifted one end of the bunk and Jap backed the wagon under it. Then as he held tightly to the lines and controlled the mules he endeavored to help with the loading while his companion lifted the other end of the bunk from the ground. The plan was working out splendidly and the loading was about complete when Jap committed a slight but tragic error. He accidentally kicked the log chain, which was lying in its accustomed place upon the floor of the wagon box. The mules had not forgotten the lesson they had learned in connection with the rattle of a log chain. To them that sound meant to go, and go they did. With the first lunge Jap lost his balance and his hold on the lines. The feed bunk and Jap flew through the air, out of the wagon and landed on top of the surprised and unfortunate helper, while with “fire flashing from four pairs of feet” the mules proceeded to demonstrate how quickly and efficiently they could demolish a wagon and a set of harness. Jap lost his job as a result of this affair, which in no way affected his confidence in the efficiency of his method – he still felt that he knew the only successful remedy for balky mules.

At another time while he was doing odd jobs about town he hauled a load of cobs from the elevator to the home of a Lamoni resident. When he loaded the cobs, the bin was almost empty, and there was more than a normal portion of shucks among the cobs. He feared the customer would protest this condition and all the way to the man's house he worried on account of what he feared the customer would say when he saw the load of shucks. He hoped he might get unloaded and away unseen, but in this he was disappointed, for the purchaser of the cobs stood in the driveway as he pulled into the yard, waiting to inspect the load. Imagine the driver's surprise when after a thorough inspection he commented: “Just the way I like my cobs – enough shucks so I won't have t use coal oil to start a fire.”

Jap was so overcome with surprise that for a time he was speechless; but later to his friends he philosophized: “It don't do any good to worry. What you think is best for the other fellow never suits him and the thing you think he should not have suits him to a tee. A fellow never knows what is really best for him and he often cries over the thing that proves the most beneficial. So why worry? Take life as it comes and if you feel like crying, just laugh it off – it'll work out all right in the end.”

After this fashion Jap Smith tried to follow his own philosophy. He never allowed difficulties or the perplexities of life to worry him. He has probably laughed off enough trouble to kill an ordinary man, and if his line of reasoning could only be taken in reasonable quantities it would definitely be a benefit to mankind. So with appreciation for such of his philosophy as we can use with benefit, and forgiveness in our hearts for his slight infringements upon our social regulations, we must accept Jap Smith as an interesting and unusual figure in Lamoni's passing parade.